Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Strangely Disappointed

* I had this post scheduled originally. Looks like I'm still not used to the new year because I scheduled it for 1/12/10. Woops!

I have been having some bizarre dreams recently, all about being pregnant. This, combined with the fact that my little monthly visitor is now over two weeks  late (Not to mention the baby boom in blog land) led me to believe, hey, maybe I am.

Before the pill I'm on now, I had the Mirena (we all know how that worked out ;) A common side effect of Mirena is for your period to go away (and then of course I actually was pregnant with Gbear) but with the pill I'm on now, I've gotten my little friend like clockwork, but not now.

I am totally not ready for another baby. Lil Gbear wasn't planned, a miracle and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I don't think I could take another surprise like that. HB and I have discussed the possibility of trying for another, but we agreed we wanted to wait til Gbear was older. We're in no rush.

So when I finally realized how late I was (what can I say, I've been distracted), I decided I needed to know. If I was, well, that would be another miracle and we would be overjoyed (a little stressed, but happy nonetheless)

Nervously I took the test, waited the agonizing amount of time, and finally read: Not Pregnant.

I should be relieved, right? I'm not ready for another baby yet, but somehow I couldn't help being a little disappointed. Crazy, I know. However,  I know when the big guy upstairs thinks we're ready for another one that little pee stick will read differently, but for now I am more than happy to devote all my time to little Gbear.


Nike Athena said...

I know that feeling and I don't get it either. I've never gotten to the point where I've taken the test as my friend usually shows up right about the time I think I should. I think it means you're a great mom and when the time is right you'll be a wonderful mother for both your kids.

Angie said...

I've been there before. And I think the stress of it all is what makes me a little late. I think, I'm not ready, but at the same time, I'm so hopeful for that + to show up. Take the test, not pregnant. And then a day or two later, hello friend.

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling. Its an odd feeling isnt it. I hope the dreams arent to much for you ;)

Lou said...

omg. when reading this i kept thinking shes gonna say shes pregnant..shes gonna aww...nope. lol. Im happy that you were relieved, hope your dreams start straighting out!

Emily said...

I have dreams like that too! And I have those feelings too... We dont have kids yet and we arent trying yet, but sometimes when I get it in my head that I might be pregnant.. I find myself dissappointed when either the pee stick reads negative or my little friend shows up. I KNOW we aren't quite ready for kids.. but those are my feelings none the less.

KelleeLyn said...

I'm a new follower! And what a way to be introduced to your blog haha! I was in supspense! But you're right, when God says it's the time it'll happen!

Unknown said...

Hm, I could understand a little bit of disappointment. But, if I had a baby right now I would freak! LOL. It's like a freaking pandemic going on in the blog world!!! I am afraid to even READ some of the blogs, in case it is contagious!

Jessa said...

You can send me the dreams and positive test.

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