Monday, March 14, 2011

Can I Just Fly to Neverland?

I have been trying and trying to shut down all of the thoughts flying through my head all the time, but they just keep getting louder. See, HB and I are at a turning point. There are big changes ahead. No, I’m not pregnant. Just putting that out there.

HB’s ETS date is rapidly approaching. It’s so close he can taste the freedom, but {and this is a huge but} that freedom is starting to seem a little less tasty. Right now, it’s more like a plate of healthy green beans, when it should really be a big cupcake, preferably with sprinkles.

The discussion of re-enlistment has been put on the table and of course it has it’s pros and cons, but HB knows that should he decide to stay in, his current job/career/MOS is not what he wants to do. Not to mention, I think if he has to deploy again in his current capacity he might just have a mental breakdown. Ok, he wouldn’t, he’s too strong for that, but he would be miserable {I know no deployment is fun, but if you hate your job it just makes it so much worse} So, staying in would kind of be like playing roulette. He might get the outcome he wants, or he might be deploying {and it would be soon}

If it was just HB and I, at this point, I don’t think it would even be a question. We’d have the freedom to just try out civilian life, even if it meant being jobless for a month or two, but we have a family. Gbear and Bear.

I’m just so torn and it’s making me sick. My stomach feels like a herd of elephants are trampling through it.
Way more peaceful than my stomach
It’s hard for me as well, because while I can help make the decision, in the end, my fate is in someone else’s hands. Any career opportunity I currently have would not be enough to support our family for long. {and that’s assuming I can get those jobs, which p.s. since when does entry level require 3+ years of experience?!}I also accept that it's hard for HB. He wants to provide for his family, but does that mean at the cost of his happiness?

This is quickly turning into nonsensical rambles. My brain is mush. I’m hoping for sun today; it always makes me feel better. A quick trip to the park does wonders for the soul. Being a grown up can be hard.

*all lovely images courtesy of WeHeartIt


Anonymous said...

Well I hope he decides what he wants to do and that everything works out for you.

hmb said...

Getting out or staying in is a hard decision for every family...I'm sure you'll make the right one!

J hates his MOS, too!! Maybe he could get it in a contract to switch, should you all decide to stay :)

Erinn said...

Ah, the reenlistment conversation.
We just decided that my husband should reenlist for 3 more years at the same base because we are both in a place of limbo with school and work. We don't have any kids so the decision was made fairly quickly but the 3 extra years give both of us a chance to figure out where exactly we want to head with our lives as married people and as individuals.
I am always in a state of peter pan syndrome...especially in times of grown up decisions
I hope you and HB come to a decision that works best for the family!

Angie said...

I love the pic of the puppy! He's so big-eyed! :D

Has HB considered cross-training? If that's even a possibility in the Army. Or perhaps the job would look better on the civilian side? Maybe a government contract? I'm not sure what his job is, but those are some options. Hubs is in the same boat over here. We've even considered me going in as an officer after school. Crazy right?

It's a tough decision, but I'm sure it will all work out in its best for you. :)

Anonymous said...

Good luck! I wish I had advice but really, just sending good vibes your way.

Julie said...

I hope you guys can figure this out! I can only imagine! FH is always debating it and he can't even leave for another 6.5 years!

Jillian said...

I love the beans/cupcakes analogy. What a tough decision! I hope you two figure out what's best for you and your family. hugs!

J is stuck in the Navy for the next 7-8 years so we won't be having this conversation anytime soon. He's already contemplating what he'll do afterwards (or if he wants to make it a career). I don't know how they do it.

Lou said...

Oh girl, That is like the hardest thing to decide. Im sure you guys will figure it out, Until then you both are in my prayers to find the right choice! Military why are you such a pain?

Unknown said...

That's a hard one! Sometimes being a grown up is yucky...

Kindle said...

Ugh, hate being a grown-up sometimes. What a tough decision! But it looks like you're doing a great job of weighing all the pros and cons. :) Best of luck!

Jennifer said...

Good luck making a decision. I know you will make the best one for your family. The Lt. also hates his MOS, seems to be a theme! I agree with HMB's comment though... maybe he can get a switch written into his contract?

Steph said...

It's a very tough decision. We decided to go home. My husband joined the Reserves and it's a nice transition into him being 100% civilian again. He's almost done with the Reserves now and we've been talking about him reenlisting in either the Reserves or Guard for the fact that we would have good/cheap insurance. Health insurance is no joke and I don't think most people appreciate what the military offers as far as health insurance goes.

Then there is also school. Which I think the benefits from that are going to start dwindling. But that's a nice paycheck every month for us.

Best thing I think you can do is trust whatever decision you make.

Jen said...

Hmmm...I feel you pain. We've still got a little bit of time before we have to get serious about the reenlistment conversation. If they were to ask Skunky right this minute, I think he would literally jump off the boat and try to swim home before he even signed the paper. But circumstances always change...who knows what he's actually going to feel when the time to think about it is here. I've always found that pro and con lists are pretty helpful. We're big list people in my house :) Good luck with your new challenge...and don't let those elephants mess around in your stomach too long, you'll give yourself an ulcer!

Anonymous said...

This is a tough one! My husband and I just went through it last year. We were both torn about what to do. What it came down to for us was money. Granted, my husband likes his MOS and we don't have kids, but I was still in school and had no job. We couldn't afford to pay retail for groceries. As silly as that sounds, that is what it came down to for us. We need the benefits. We need groceries at cost plus 5%. The Seattle area has some of (if not the) highest grocery prices in the country and we were to broke to be able to feed ourselves. :( So sad to admit, but true.
He reenlisted for another three years. We will see how we feel at the end of it. By then, he will have 11 years in service. That brings up the debate about going career or not... So, we will have to debate it all over again.
It's a tough decision to make. But I know you guys will figure out what is the best course for you.

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