Saturday, June 1, 2013

Should I Stay or Should I Go

Sometimes being a grown up and making responsible decisions kind of sucks. I know, very eloquent, but it most properly conveys the feeling.

When HB learned his branch assignment and school dates, we started discussing what we would do as a family. Would we stay put while he went to school for four months or would we move down with him.
Here's where new me had to eat old me's words.  Naive me couldn't understand how a good wife could ever just stay behind if the option to go along existed and then reality struck.  While I am capable of following along, HB's schooling is considered a TDY, which in non acronym speak basically means, it's a short enough assignment that the military won't pay for us to move. {for the record, I totally understand why this is so- that doesn't mean I have to love it}

For Gbear, Bearcub, and I to follow the mister, we would have to do it completely out of pocket and then we would have to move again four months down the road. In the mean time, we would be leaving behind all the family support we have here and I would have to leave a job that I really love all for the chance to spend some evenings and weekends with the husband. Not to mention, it would mean ripping Gbear away from all of his therapy and schooling {this was the biggest factor} How could I, in good conscious, remove him from these vital elements of life. Yes, he'll miss his daddy, but he's already going to have one big change in the fall. Is it fair to make him bounce around the country?

My heart wants to go so badly. My head, well it partnered with my husband's logical side, and keeps reminding me how much money we will save and that it is better for Gbear. My heart is not liking the idea of 4 months apart {that's 1/3 of the year!}, but my head reminds me that we will be able to visit, and Skype, and text.

Here's hoping my head was right.


Heather Fox said...

I don't blame you for going back and forth over it. It's a tough decision, and a lot of "but I don't wanna" that goes into making it. Ha ha

Anonymous said...

I honestly went through the same thought process when my husband came down on orders for Korea. I had the option of going (and switching it to a two year assignment of course with command sponsorship), the option of NOT waiting for CS and still going (thus paying out of pocket for EVERYTHING - oh, and it would still switch him to a two year assignment), or just letting him go, sucking it up, visiting a couple times (I'm here right now), and otherwise staying behind with my friends and family. Obviously I picked the latter, and chose to stay behind, let him do his year, and do our best to work through this crap from an ocean apart.

Strangely enough, it's going much more quickly than I ever imagined, and it isn't nearly as bad. I hope it flies by for you <3

Jane said...

I hate tough decisions like that but we totally would have come to the same conclusion. :( It is definitely the smarter decision, even if it sucks.

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you for feeling this way. It's not an easy position to be in. I hope things move forward quickly so that you are all reunited sooner than you will believe is here.


Rhe Christine said...

I hate stuff like this...its not long enough to in your logical brain justify picking up and moving...but its just long enough and stable enough to desperately want to follow your totally emotional girlie side....sigh. I think you're making the right decision though.

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