Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Maybe Baby?

There is something in the water. So many people have been announcing pregnancies lately. For awhile after having Gbear, there was a fairly constant question of, When are you having another? However, it seems that people have given up on asking that {well, everyone except my mother in law, bless her heart}
For a long time, the idea of adding another child overwhelmed me. I would shutdown at the thought of it and then, right around when I was starting to think maybe, maybe I was ready for another, Gbear was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. My focus immediately shifted towards meeting his every need. Not that my focus had really been any different, but I realized how many needs he really had. I’ve been perfectly content to devote all my time to him and helping him improve his life in every way possible. No need to disrupt the balance, right?
I don’t think I’m alone in this, but after receiving the news of Gbear’s diagnosis, one of my first thoughts was, what about a future child. Would he/she face the same struggles? While the Doctor assured me that he believes this to be a fluke {God’s will?} that doesn’t remove the fear. The fear of facing a life with not one but two special needs children {not that this would be a problem, it would be a blessing, but at times an overwhelming blessing}. Would I be able to give two children with special needs the attention to make them thrive? There is the fear that adding another child will totally disrupt the balance and Gbear will suffer. Although, I think that one is a fear of ALL parents considering another child.
So many fears that it was easier to just put it on the backburner, but then again, we have always intended to give Gbear a sibling and there is never really a perfect time to change family dynamics, but you learn, you adjust, and most importantly you grow.  In the end, it’s not in my hands. I can’t control what is in store for my family, but the thought has been planted. Maybe, just maybe.


Meg Taylor said...

I feel like I'm not the right person to comment on this because I don't have children, but after reading I just want you to know I'm praying for you! I never had siblings (my parents were older when they had me, so they didn't really have a choice), and I've always wondered what it would have been like. Don't get me wrong, being an only child was fun for sure ;) Looking forward to following along with your blog!


L.A.C.E. said...

oh my goodness! I have so been out of touch with my blog friends. (((hugs)) to you. On that note, my fear of possibly having another, is completely different than yours. I do have a friend though who's daughter was diagnosed with ONH at birth. Optic Nerve Hypoplasiya. There was a whole poop ton of other diagnosis that came due to having ONH. My reasoning for mentioning it is because she feared as well, yet she had another child who is perfectly healthy and doesn't diminish the care and love she gives her oldest. Also, she is pregnant with her third (I don't think she's given birth yet, but I've been in such a fog these last couple of weeks I could be wrong). I hope this tidbit helps and not makes the decision either way harder. More ((hugs))

erika said...

That's definitely a lot to consider. When I so wanted a second baby but we just didn't have the finances to do it, everyone (well, almost everyone) kept telling me it would "just work out". Parenting two kids has been the most challenging thing I've ever done, but it has "just worked out", strangely enough. There are so many unknowns, but they won't be known until it happens, so as much as you can, just believe it will work out. <3 (And yes, I always hated when people would tell me this stuff.)

Jamie said...

I don't think anyone ever thinks it's the *right* time to add another one but I do think you'll know when it's time to start trying. Hang in there. You'll know.

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