Thursday, April 11, 2013

You're Doing it Wrong

I should preface this post with a disclaimer {oy vey I hate when people start posts with disclaimers because you know that means they are going to piss someone off and here I am doing it, but I'm fired up so screw it!}

I do NOT claim to be an expert on parenting. I am human. I try my best to instill values in my child that were instilled in me. The biggest one being, treat others the way you want to be treated.

I am aware that kids have to learn. They don't know something is wrong until they are taught what is right. My mama heart may hate this sometimes, but I understand that if I want to raise an upstanding human being, I'm going to have to teach him right from wrong and hopefully teach him something that I am beginning to think is becoming extinct: Compassion.

If your child is a bully by the age of 5, you're doing it wrong. One of the things I love most about kids is how big their hearts can be. How willing they are to overlook differences and love other kids unconditionally, but this doesn't last forever. You have to cultivate this precious seed of compassion if you want it to blossom into a loving flower child {whoa, check out that metaphor. are you gagging on the sweetness yet?}

If your child of only 6 will look you in the eye and lie about slamming his baby sister's head into the ground and then proceed to beat the tar out of every kid in the play place while you gossip with other mothers in the room outside, you're doing it wrong.

If that same baby sister {who isn't old enough to walk yet} is eating french fries off the floor of said play place because you didn't notice her crawl away from you and you only come find her after she's been screaming bloody murder for 5 minutes, you're doing it wrong. {ok so this one has nothing to do with compassion, but I'm on a rant here!}

But seriously people. Teach your children compassion. Teach them to appreciate that everyone is made differently and that is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Teach them that ganging up on people who are smaller than us is wrong. We should be teaching them how to be a good example for the little ones.

Let's work on this people, before this compassion loving mama snaps. You won't like me when I'm angry



Unknown said...

Yes! Compassion is being lost. It's hard though, when the parent doesn't have it. Often the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Fran said...

Kids learn from example, like Poe said - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Heather Fox said...

I love this post! I couldn't agree more, and it drives me insane. We all make mistakes as parents, but how can parents like that think its OK? I "might" be able to understand if said child was 12 or older, but 6 is too little. We have been having bully problems this year and I don't like it. Some people have rubbed their close-mindedness off on their children at far too young of an age.

Megan said...

Couldn't agree more! And I don't even have kids!

Lou said...


Kena said...

I agree with this so much! I've tried to teach my kids that being mean to everyone is not a good thing. Occasionally they have moments but overall they are the sweetest. Just not to each other at times, lol.

Mrs. Air Force said...

I definitely agree! We want to teach our son to be compassionate, friendly and loving to every person no matter what

JG said...

Slightly-related: I knew a family whose son at that age was a hitter, an apparently incurable hitter. People were at their wit's end to figure out how to handle it. I (quietly) floated the idea that the problem wasn't that he wasn't be told not to hit. It wasn't a popular theory. Years later, find out he was living in an abusive household. More is caught than taught.

and you're 100% correct.

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